Grief Support

 

What is Grief?

Coping with the loss of a family member or a close friend may be one of the hardest challenges we will ever have to face in our lifetime.

You may experience many different emotions as you journey through the many stages of grief, particularly through the most difficult 12 months following your loss. Emotions of sadness, denial, anxiety, anger, frustration, blame and guilt are very real, affecting each of us in different ways and at different times.

The grief someone feels for the loss of a father, a mother, a partner, a child, a friend, a resident or a patient, can be completely different in each of these situations. How, and when, loved ones are taken from us will also be felt and processed differently. No two situations are the same and no two people are the same, and grief can be as individual as your fingerprints.

Sadly, there is no quick fix for your pain, but at least understanding why you feel the way you do at certain times, may help you gradually inch forward. Some days it can feel that the two steps you took forward yesterday were in vain, because today it feels like you have taken four steps back. Some people describe it as a roller coaster nightmare, like being taken over by many waves of ups and downs, anxiously feeling lost one day, and suddenly found the next. On other days it might be that you can only manage to take things minute by minute, hour by hour. It is a mission of small steps, and you will be challenged to ‘dig deep’ to find the courage to take every single step.

Give yourself permission to grieve rather than trying to ignore it. While it may not happen right away, try and find a way to forgive the people who you feel ‘just don’t get it’, and who believe you should be over your loss in a heartbeat. In reality, they have no idea how you are feeling, just as you don’t know why you feel the way you do some days.

Many people express that being told things will get better in time, makes them feel so much worse. They find themselves questioning how things could possibly get better when they have lost someone they love so much. One thing they do acknowledge is that things get different, and while that ‘gaping hole’ feeling in their stomach lingers, and they know that things will never be the same, little by little, these distressing emotions do become less consuming.

When we love so passionately, there is an equal chance that we will hurt just as passionately – is it not better that we have loved?

Perhaps the best any of us can hope for is that the happy and positive emotions we experience as we focus on the beautiful memories we created with our lost loved ones, will eventually overtake the horrendous sadness we feel.

 

Where do I go for help with my grief?

Some people may find it useful to speak with a professional about their feelings of grief, and others may prefer to seek out their own bereavement information. You may even find it comforting to talk with other people who have also experienced a devastating loss. At evereve we offer ongoing support to families and will stay in touch with you. We are here to listen, or chat with you if you are struggling to find a way forward at those difficult times. 

 

Organisations that may be able to assist you WITH YOUR GRIEF

Lifeline	13 11 14
Centacare Geraldton	(08) 9921 1433
SIDS and Kids Support	1300 308 307
Grief Centre	1300 765 855
Mensline Australia	1300 789 978
Road Trauma Support	1300 004 814
Alzheimer's Australia	1800 100 500
Beyond Blue	1300 224 636
Australia Centre for Grief & Bereavement	1800 642 066
National Centre for Childhood Grief	1300 654 556
Child and Youth Trauma, Loss & Grief	(02) 6244 3500
Australian Multiple Birth Association	1300 886 499
Miscarriage, Stillbirth & Neonatal Death Support	1300 072 637
Compassionate Friends WA Support for Child Loss	(08) 9486 8711